Still trying...

Friends are sooo important to me.
I know there is just so much they can do and the rest I've to depend on myself.
Still, I'm really grateful.

Thank you Chengyao.
You know you never fail to knock sense into me.
You just tell me the most important stuff in this world.
And the best thing is you guide me along.
You tell me what must I do when I'm really freaking lost.
You're just so important you know...

Now I know.
For the next 2 weeks, my life will only constitute of 3 parts.
Work (5 shifts!) + Study (Really must start!) + Friends.

I will try my best to not think of anything else, though I know I can't.
HAHA.
I try la huh. I know I can't anyhow promise now =P

Still, a big THANK YOU to everyone of you.
I really appreciate tonnes.

I survived 12 days without you BB.

Updates..

Ever since you left me, my friends have been taking over your job.
They look after me, they date me out and they're 24 hours on standby for me.
They call me every now and then, afraid that I'm bored at home.
Even Wanzhen whose sooooo busy with her work has been planning to meet me.
I feel so touched and I really appreciate.


It's been 11 days.
Whenever someone asks.. "How you doing?"
I say.. "I'm fine." Because I really am; Fine but not great.
I think of you every second, be it if I'm at home or out party-ing.
I really miss you a lot.
I always wonder, where you are, what you doing, etc..
But I no longer cry, because I placed you in my heart and I feel you every now and then.
I tell myself that you are there. It's just that I'm not able to contact you..
And I see you and your family in my dreams every night, I wonder why...

Just how long more can I take it?
I don't know...
Haiz. Howww.

感慨。

我曾经有一段时候很羡慕那些与另一半分手的朋友；
就觉得是一种解脱。
但是，我现在更羡慕那些与另一半在一起很久的朋友。

或许。
这就是名副其实的“失去后才懂得珍惜”。

现在的我真的懂了。
可是。
那又怎样呢？

囧

ARGH.

I've really gotta bring my iPod for servicing tomorrow.
Wanted to do it yesterday but ended up at SPCA.
Wanted to do it today but couldn't wake up.
So, tomorrow is the last day!
Because after that I don't know when I will be in town besides work.
SIAN.
Why must that bloody waterbottle leak?!!

Ok.
Anyway, i can't decide where to go on Saturday.
Because, daddy & mummy can't decide if they wanna go Malaysia!
And because of that, I can't decide if I wanna go Dbl O on Friday.
And then, I don't know if I can go cycling on Saturday.
DUHHHHHH >.<

充实的一天

Yesterday Shonia was telling me that she and R thought of doing voluntary work at SPCA.
And my first reaction was..
"Have you ever been there?! Do you know how smelly it is not?!"

Then somehow or rather, I decided to check out the adoption gallery website of SPCA.
And..
I saw this..


I thought he looked cute here with the super "Please Love Me" look.
And the best thingS are..
This dog is a HE and is a mix of POODLE + Maltese.
So Shonia and I decided to go have a look.
And IF I happen to like him, I MAY CONSIDER adopting him,
at an affordable price of S$145.
Plus do you know how hard it is to spot small dogs in SPCA?

Anyway, we went there in the afternoon after my work just now.
And...
I didn't even managed to catch a glimpse of him because he was adopted EARLIER TODAY!
Like fcuk la. But i know maybe God found an ideal home for him.
So, all the best Kenji!

And and and!
Shonia decided not to be a volunteer at SPCA anymore.
I guess the cats and dogs there feel relieved now..
MUAHAHA!

Oh and I just came back from the Korean BBQ Buffet AGAIN.
I totally can't believe that I could eat. Maybe the price was the cause.
Because for the past 6 days, the calories of amount of food I consumed hardly mounts up to a bowl of rice. I suppose la.
So yeah. I'm not gonna eat tomorrow I guess?

Anyway, Glenn is my ATM!
HAHA.
Because I haven't been paying for the drinks we had at Iguana and the food today..
Thanks Glenn!
I try to let you copy more of my quiz next module ok??
But provided if Joanne let me copy hers.. HAHA.
No la.. Remind me that I owe you money..
(Though I'm broke and may pretend that I forgotten. Like what Yihao always does..)

And.
If only you "happened to" read this, I missed you so today.
But I'm happy that I managed to suppress myself.
=)

如果我变成回忆

I have always knew the existance of this song.
But, I have never knew that the lyrics were so touching.
The bf with heart disease is singing out his fears he has for his gf.
And the singer Tank has hereditary heart illness in real life.
He doesn't know when will he not wake up from a sleep anymore.
He doesn't want and don't bear to leave his gf all alone in this world.
But one day if he really do, he want his gf to forget him.

How cruel?!

Compared to such people, my pain is nothing.
Because I know that you will always be around.
But promise me that you will take care of yourself for the time being please.

Anyways, enjoy the MV.

SIAN.

I wanna start on my school work.
My application papers and to start preapring for exam on 31st.

BUT!

I have no mood!
HAHA.

HOW?!

Thank You ANGELS...

I feel so relaxed now.
Yihao is right.
God took you away from me, but HE gave me them.
It's just an ordeal that I have to go through in life to be a better person.

I really appreciate..

Yihao and Zhen-
They are 24 hours on standby, ever ready to listen to me cry, to my craps and everything.
They took over Yaya's job of taking care of me.
I just know they are always there.

Shonia-
Listening to me for hours, sharing with you what we went through for the 4 whole years.
Telling me what a good bf I had and that I didn't treaure him. HAHA.
Reassuring me that I can call you for anything..

Mel and CY-
They rushed down to meet me from home, knowing how terrible I feel.
Gave me hugs, counselling and advice that's realllllll important!
Mel took care of all our expenses (food, drinks, transportation fare) even though we are all broke!
Aww.

Calene-
Giving me advices that really had impact on me.
And telling me that I have you with me.

Koh Chee Wee-
Telling me you feel me and all the realistic stuff that literally shatters all my dreams..
HAHA.

Madeline-
Giving me advices and most importantly, stay by Yaya.

Glenn, Joyce & Zilei-
Knowing how fcuk I feel and will always be there for me.

ShuLing, Zhenxiu & Sabby-
Wanting me to take care and that I will do good. =)


I never knew that I have so many people caring for me besides Yaya.
I always say that I have no friends, but now I know I do.
I really appreciate dang a lot.
Really.
Thank you guys soooooooo much.
For Yaya, for my family and for you all, I will do fine.


I know I can, because I survived through the 4 hours of love songs..
It's like a big thing huh. HAHA.
=)

This is out of my control;
But I know you will come back for me when you are all charged.
Good night.

Conflict.

I feel so cruel to myself when I'm on air.
I feel so sad upon hearing these non-stop love songs.
What 《悲伤止步》，
what 《Always My Baby》,
what 《Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You》 that I wanted to play on my wedding,
what 《其实你不懂我的心》 and
the 《喜欢你》 that you liked so much BB.

Every single word of the lyrics is stabbing hard into my heart.
Yet I've to sound so chirpy, so happy.

I'm bleeding inside.
I feel so much like crying.
But I know I can't.
I'm trying so hard to be professional.

But it's not even been 15 minutes. How to endure?

$$$ flew away...

I feel sad for not working at Singapore Pools today, 0800h - 1430h.
It's sucha GOOD shift that I simply love cos I can continue 883 at 1600h..
But, I just gave it up!
I should've been able to wake up after just 2 hours of sleep.
I should've went.
Regret!
Because this means money flew away...
And it's the second time I gave my shift away in just 5 days..

AWWW!