LIFE - death.

YaYa knows. Zhen knows. Yihao knows. Shonia knows.

They know.
They know how much I hurt.
They know.
They know how much I miss.
Everytime when we return or exit home,
we tend to turn and look at the spot where Bun used to be.
Only to realize that he's gone. Forever.

Still,
I know for a fact that Bun's not gonna be back.

I've been guilt-stricken.
I blamed myself.
If only i treated Bun better.
Still, Yaya and Zhen insisted that I did.
It made me felt a little better but I believe I could've done better.
YaYa mentioned points that I've never noticed about myself.
He said, Bun's forever in our daily conversation.
How he behaved today. What he ate for the day. Anything, everything.
He also said, whenever i get Bun a little gift, I would be delighted for he whole day.
I thought so. As I can't wait to bring the gift home and see his reaction.

Anyways,
We kinda found out what caused Bun's death.
It was some kind of intestinal disease.
Due to Bun's toilet, he developed blisters on his feet.
Those blisters lead to intestinal diseases, which i found out after his death.
I know those blisters may cause him harm, but not till the extent of death.
The intestinal illness was believed to have built up wayyyyyy back.
It's just like heart attack.
The patient know that he's got this kind of sickness.
But, the minute it suddenly ATTACKS, patient may die.
That was what exactly happened to Bun.
Symptoms for the intestinal illness was:
Active in the day. Lethargic at night. Found dead the next morning.
Fully compatible symptoms found on Bun.

What to do?
Life's fragile.
What I hate is the fading memories of mine.
I don't want it this way.
I don't wanna forget BunBun.
I wanna have everything kept in me.

God, please help!

We went to SPCA today.
Steph, Alas and Ken in hope of adopting another rabbit.
But not me.
i am against the idea.
I was traumatised.
And I won't be able to take another blow.

Why.
Why must there be such thing as life and death?