Am I making sense?

Being on-air all alone with the love songs never fails to make me vulnerable.
I feel so down now.
Yet again, listen to how chirpy I am.

I love to read my friends' blogs.
I'm really happy for them when they mention how in love they are, how sweet their other halves are, etc.
But I also can't help feeling FCUKING jealous.
I mean it.

And I just can't stop myself from thinking about you.
Every hour, every minute and even every second.
This feeling sucks although I'm always thinking about the happy times we had.
But at times, or always, my thoughts run wild. VERY wild in fact.
HAHA.

What if you don't come back anymore?
What if you just don't love me anymore?
What if I were to die suddenly? Will you be sad and regret?
What if I just meet a guy and be together with him?
What if I have to migrate and never come back anymore?

I never knew that I had such abilities of imagining.
But I think I am correct.
As in, I know very clearly that I lovee you and I want to be with you.
I don't wanna wait any further to have any regrets in future.
But I know that you need time yourself now.
So it's kind of a contradict thing.
HOWWWWW?!

Haiz.
I don't know la seriously.
But I think I really needa start preparing for exam already.
=(